


burnt rice

by noodlyhanyu



Category: Baseball RPF, Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, the ISU sucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 22:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19799473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodlyhanyu/pseuds/noodlyhanyu
Summary: “‘The Two Athletes Most Women Want to Marry Are Marrying Each Other’ is the article I’m talking about,” the JSF representative was saying. “It’s about you and Shohei Ohtani.”*Yuzuru Hanyu and Shohei Ohtani are getting married. But not really. Or are they? No one knows—not even them.





	burnt rice

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fic, so I apologize for any mistakes I make, and I'll add tags as I go along. I love this pairing so I just had to write something about it!! I'm mostly inspired by seeing those polls about the athletes most people want to marry and also I'm just generally salty towards the ISU. Anyways, thank you for reading!

Yuzuru was going about his normal routine. Wake up, skate, study, and sleep. So when he got a call from the JSF about the news, he wasn’t expecting much. 

“‘The Two Athletes Most Women Want to Marry Are Marrying Each Other’ is the article I’m talking about,” the JSF representative was saying. “It’s about you and Shohei Ohtani.”

Yuzuru felt a little bubble of ire start to form in his stomach. There had already been gossip about him being in a relationship in the past, but this? A rumor about him marrying a well known athlete and a man, no less? They both were going to get torn to shreds. And if she was calling specifically about this one article, it was probably big news. “What should I do? Hold a press conference?”

“The problem is that they have evidence. Pictures of you two—pictures of people that look like you two, I mean—from the so-called wedding. That’s why it’s made big news. Everyone thinks that it’s actually you guys.” Yuzuru didn’t speak immediately, digesting the news. How did they create pictures of a wedding that didn’t even happen? How dedicated were these people? She continued, “We don’t want to act rashly, but you do need to respond quickly and make some sort of statement. First, however, I think it is probably best to contact Ohtani.”

“Right,” said Yuzuru. Not too soon after, the JSF would be contacting Ohtani’s baseball team. Too tired to return to his studies, Yuzuru decided to go to bed. That night, as he waited to fall asleep, all he could think about was how he was going to face hell in the next few days. 

After two days of anxiety eating at him, Yuzuru found himself sitting in a conference room at the Cricket Club. And somehow, his supposed spouse sat across from him in a similarly disheveled state. Something about an off day, booking the soonest flight, and some other things that Yuzuru didn’t notice. 

“Alright, everyone, I know everyone knows why we’re here,” the same representative from before began in English, surveying the small room with Yuzuru, Ohtani, and their respective teams at the table in front of her. “And I’ve called us all here to make a decision on how to react to this. Thank you to everyone for holding off on making a statement. Now I’ll ask everyone: does anyone have any ideas on what to do?”

Someone from Ohtani’s side of the table spoke, someone from the baseball league. “Well, we should just release a statement. Maybe one from the skating federation in Japan. And then Shohei could do an interview to deny it.”

There were words of agreement, and soon, a discussion began about what to say, when to say it, and how to get it to the public. Yuzuru usually would have paid attention throughout the talk, but the exhaustion of worrying about the scandal had done its toll. Now he sighed in relief that it finally would be taken care of and started to tune it out. 

Until, of course, someone else had to speak up. 

“I know the most obvious answer is to deny all the things that have been said,” another MLB representative said, “But before we get even farther into planning, I wonder, could we consider confirming the rumors? This could be something to take advantage of.”

Yuzuru thought of a few choice words. A publicity stunt? Was this man serious? But then another one of Ohtani’s representatives piped up. “I agree that we should also consider this option. The news of a gay marriage between quite possibly the two biggest athletes in Japan would make the news even in the United States—if true, that is. And over here, any publicity is good publicity. We always need a boost in ticket sales, and I mean, who doesn’t love a good romance?”

That was it. Just how naive was this guy? Yuzuru had to say something. “I can assure you that this will be disastrous; we all do know how gay people are treated, right? People will surely take it badly, and you can't deny that. I can’t risk my career like this.” He wanted to yell at this man, wanted to say more, but he knew he still needed to be polite. Confirming the still untrue rumors would be getting dangerously close to something very real.

Ohtani spoke up for the first time. “I agree. This has not been taken well in Japan already, and it is not even true in the first place. I will deny it if I am asked about it.”

The first MLB representative spoke up again. “Alright, this was something I didn’t want to do, but we’ll pay both of you to go along with the rumor. It will be good for ticket sales, and the league needs that. Would either of you be willing if paid?”

Yuzuru wanted to vehemently reject the offer. This was a terrible idea; being paid for pretending to be married to someone else was already, of course, just plain wrong. Even more importantly, it would be synonymous to coming out. 

However, although the prospect of this was terrifying, he couldn’t help but realize that this would be a major middle finger to the ISU. The corrupt organization that paid him dust for all that he did. Yuzuru, of course, was not a humble man, even if he seemed like it; he saw how he filled stadiums quite clearly, and he saw how he, frankly, revitalized the sport’s fanbase. And yet, after losing the World Championships this past year and rewatching performances time and time again, he couldn’t help but feel robbed. The ISU couldn’t at least reward him by giving him a hard-earned victory. No matter what the protocols said, Yuzuru had eyes. He had a brain. He knew that he should have won. 

I’ll pay them back, he thought. I’ll see how they like knowing their biggest star is a gay man. And I can do the quad flip and lutz now. Soon I’ll be able to do the axel; I’m almost there. There’s only so much they can rob me when I land the axel right in front of them.

“Okay,” he said after a pause. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

And that was when it all went to hell.


End file.
